I'm Back

I have let the blog slip for a wile but I am going to try and pull my finger out and do a days. Something that has been getting on my wick lately is that everything I buy is broke and I have to take it back. I bought a USB dongle from Maplins that I had to get my money back on as they had no more, then bought a USB 2 PCMCIA card for my laptop that don't recognize USB2, then Jessops kept me waiting 17 minutes then sold me a camera with a big scratch on the screen and last but I bet it wont be, I upgraded my phone and two days later the keys stopped working. Even when I complain about this stuff I get an impersonal rubber stamp letter apologizing for the inconvenience blar, blar, blar which just makes me want to puke blood. Whatever happened to the customer is always right? I know the customer is not always right but I am. It seems now we are just a means to obtain the target figure for the month. I find more and more that I'm getting treated like my money belongs to them and I'm just looking after it till I spend it. So it looks like open season on shops. Any chance I get to have a go at shops, I will.

Aberfan

21 October 1966 A total of 144 people, including 116 children, died when a coal slagheap slid on to Pantglas Junior School in Aberfan. Some 145 children survived, and although they are now in their late 30s and early 40s, researchers found almost half of them had experienced post-traumatic stress disorder at some point since. These people will never forget that day and neather should we.
A tribunal found the National Coal Board was responsible for the disaster, but nobody was sacked or prosecuted. Villagers campaigned vigorously for the tip to be removed, spurred on by findings from the tribunal of inquiry which said an underground stream beneath the tip had probably contributed to the tip moving. The government eventually agreed, but the National Coal Board and the Treasury forced the villagers to contribute £150,000 from the disaster fund towards the removal costs. When I found this out it made me feel sick. Its like taking a dump on somebodys doorstep then charging them £20 to clear it up. The money was eventually repaid 30 years later at the instigation of the then Welsh Secretary Ron Davies, but without any interest payments. Cliff Minett, who lost two of his three children in the disaster, said: "It doesn't matter if it's one year or 40 years on - the pain is just the same."

Tired

For quite some months now I have been feeling quite tired and yarning a lot in work. I thought this was over work or lack of sleep but as soon as I got home I felt fine. I have now worked out what this is. I am bored stupid with my job.

The missing link update

The Link blamed the insurance company and the insurance company blamed The Link. So I told them both to stick it. Job done

The Missing Link

I have just got my mobile back from The Link where I had left it two weeks ago as It would not charge. I have had Insurance with them for over a year as I was convinced that something is bound to happen to it in eighteen months. This amounts to About £120. It seems that in the two weeks they have had my phone they have put in a second hand battery and scratched the phone in three different places. At the time of writing this (16:45) it has been on charge three hours and twentyminutess and still does not seem to be charging. If it does not charge you can be damn sure I will give FULL details of this company. I'll update you tomorroww.

Yes I know.

Cardiff University researchers have found a dangerous flaw in HSBC's online banking system (its called being on line). The Guardian says a security loophole could be exploited to break into any of the bank's 3.1 million UK online accounts within nine attempts. It relies on "key loggers" gadgets or software viruses that capture the keystrokes made on a particular computer which can enable a hacker to work out the information needed to successfully log onto an account within a few attempts. This just reinforces my opinion that there is no such thing as a secure connection. Banks seam to be saving money at our expense by closing local branches and expecting us to bank on line. To me banking on line amounts to walking down the road with your months wages held out in front of you. As soon as I received my on line banking details I destroyed them with out even looking at them and then sent my bank a letter thanking them for further compromising the security of my account. If I require a service from a company I am quite capable of asking for it. I do not want it shoved down my throat. The only other company that is stupid enough to do this is Arkwright on Open All Hours with his ginger cake.

Death

R.I.P.

Rant And Rave.

Freedom of speech is truly dead.

Too Soft.

I have for sometime made fun of the politically correct crowed for being a bunch of paranoid, interfering idiots whose motives are purely financial. Now I was tempted to leave that entry there just as it was but the longer I live in London the more I realise that some people really are this stupid and do need to be wrapped in cotton wool. These people are usually in well paid jobs and look very smart. Having said this I must point out I have for sometime now known that there are many different forms of intelligence. For example, I know people who hold very important and well paid jobs who hold many people’s lives in there hands but god love um they couldn’t hit the side of a barn with a banjo so you can forget changing a fuse. They have no social skills and no practical skills. All they know is there job. I also know people who can’t read and write who can build you a 4 bedroom house with double garage without looking at a set of plans once. Knowledge does not equal wisdom. Anyway these people need saving from themselves. This brings me to my new campaign. The politically correct crowed have the right idea they’re just nit picking and being too soft. We need to group together and get hardcore on these reckless fools. For a start a few things need to be banned as they are far too dangerous. Here are a few of the first things to go.

4X4 vehicles, the front grills are too high and can cause a lot of damage to a person in a normal car, in fact any large car will have to go as well. Normal cars will go at a later date.

Sports like golf, cricket, tennis, polo and croquet. Far too dangerous. All them balls flying around and shooting you can forget straight away.

Large gatherings like race meetings, operas and garden party’s got to go as too many people in one place is asking for trouble.

Champagne? Not a chance. That cork could have somebody’s eye out.

All horses will be gathered and sent to another country and set free. One kick from one of them and you’ve had your lot.

First and business class travel will have to go as standard class is overcrowded and an accident waiting to happen.

So there we go just a few ideas to set us off. What I need now is a name with the first letters spelling something like scope or mind. If anybody has any ideas or you have noticed anything I have missed, just let me know.

Lynx 2

And why is it only blokes who notice when I've go it on. If that's the Lynx effect you can shove it. I'm sticking to Brute.

Lynx

They had a two for one deal on lynx at a large shop by me and I jumped at it. I forgot about it until this morning when I gave myself a good covering. It was at this point I noticed it was anti perspirant deodorant. How do you freaks ware that stuff? It was like spraying Evo stick under my arms. I washed it off as soon as I got to work. I would rather stink than go through that again. Can I interest anybody in two cans of Lynx anti perspirant deodorant?

Linux

I have decided to use Ubuntu Linux for my internet pc. I was going to install it this weekend but it turns out the old PC I was going to use does not have an IDE cable and neither do I. All the junk I have horded over the years and I aint got an IDE cable. If anybody else is thinking of trying it out I found this site quite good reading.

http://linuxcommand.org/

Just another hour?

Boing! Time for bed!

July

It's to hot for me. My brain don't work proper in heat like this.

Readjustment

MY holiday period is over now and do I want to be back in London working?............... NO! I need a couple of days to sort my head out. I wrote about a page of stuff about my holiday and my PC has lost it. I’m going to have another look tonight. If I don’t find it at least it killed four hours on the train home.

Why Me

I brought a rain coat yesterday, today is now clearing up. Is it me or what? What would happen if I went out and bought sun block and an umbruella?

Penzance

As always my annual pilgrimage to Penzance was top notch. I got the 10:05 train from Paddington. Got on the train nice and early to find once again that despite asking for an aisle seat facing (6’2” gotta stretch the legs out), I got a back facing window seat. I was closely followed by a family comprising entirely of women, five birds and a little girl. Then a yank sat opposite me. They all had seats booked but the five birds (or anorexic melted welly faced bints) decided that they would use my spare seat and keep their booked seat empty. So the seat remained empty despite the yank asking if he could use the seat if he moved when they needed it. For the first hour and a half he seamed to think he could stretch his feet under MY seat. After a bit of footsy and a few kicks in the sack he got the idea. It was at this point I realised I had forgotten the spare batteries for my laptop. It was too sunny to see the PSP (another reason for the aisle seat) so all I had to do was read my book and irritate the turkey baster bird by getting up every 15 minutes which just goes to show that it don’t pay to annoy a psycho Welsh bloke. Mazey day was cool as ever and the music went on till gone one in the morning. The rest of the week was spent chillin and ting apart from the odd walk. We took a little trip to the Lizard Peninsula for chips and an ice cream. A trip to Lands End was also on the cards. After a walk around the shops and a quick stop for fish and chips we were off for a walk along the cliffs. Along the way we stumbled upon a little farm where my mate was savaged by a little black and white cat. As we approached the farm shop we found a little yellow sign on the door which stated the we should not touch the black and white cat as she is very unfriendly. Better late than never? I think my mate may disagree with you there. I also remember with great joy my trip to Lidl. We left the shop to find a rain storm in full swing that would have sent a Brazilian umbrella manufacturer running for cover. I came to the conclusion that the young lady I was with should decide weather we should wait or risk walking once the rain had eased off a bit. This way I would not be to blame. We set off once it eased a bit which of course lasted long enough for us to get too far away to turn back. I don’t mind getting wet but I hate it when I get drips hanging off my eyebrows. I also hate it when some impotent nonce in a car covers you head to foot in water cos they are too stupid and ignorant to drive around a puddle. I had just finished cursing the gimp in the car when I felt a strange sensation in my back which was closely followed by the bottle of wine in my rucksack smashing on the floor. This also involved a bottle of lemonade rolling off down the road spraying froth as it went. We collected the groceries that were not damaged and sloshed the rest of the way home. Friday was sunny so we went to Mousehole which is a great place. One comment stuck in my mind and that was “I can’t wait to move away from here so we can come back on holiday” I think that says it all. Saturday was going home day and once again despite having an empty train to choose from I still ended up in the deliverance carriage so I plugged in the headphones and listened to England get knocked out of the world cup. I am now counting down the days till my next holiday.

Red Left Arm

Ok I'm back and I got a red arm. Give us a day.

Penzance

Penzance, Penzance, Penzance, Penzance, Penzance, Penzance, Penzance, Did I forget PENZANCE!

Moron

Saw some bloke on the news last night sitting in a garden in Surbiton banging on about how big the gardens are and how we can cut the garden in half and put another house on it. First, Shut up you moron. You have not got the first idea what you are talking about. If you had been through Surbiton station during rush hour, It would be patently obvious that the last thing it needed was more people. London and the suburbs are full. Fact! Stop your internal dialog, your wrong. Without the proper infrastructure, your just jerking off. These people paid for there house AND garden so mind your own business. Look, you got the congestion charge, you've freed up the roads so you can drive your big flash cars to whatever job you choose to go to that day. Now leave real people the hell alone. O and stop creating stupid problems to distract us from what your messing up. It don't work. Be careful of the toes you stand on on the way up as they are connected to the backsides you have to kiss on the way back down.

Why !

If only you could see in side my mind. You wouldn't know weather to run, walk, cry or spit. Don't worry though the world cup is on init, then the tennis, then golf and cricket THEN a new series of celebrity whore, hosted by Julian Clarey. HOO HAA! Sainsbury's tomato relish is well nice by the way. Nice on some chips like init.

Sorry

The day before yesterday I went out after work to buy some shorts and sun block for my holidays. It rained. This morning on the way to work I bought an umbrella, now it’s cleared up. Sorry about that. I’m going to buy a raincoat on Friday so it’s going to be great this weekend.

Theft

I went to make my lunch for work last night and somebody had stolen my bread and replaced it with a blue fluffy ball. Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

50%

So 50 pence thinks he’s a hero cos he got shot nine times. Anybody who is stupid enough to stay anywhere long enough to get shot nine times deserves every bullet. Maybe we’ll be lucky and number ten will hit him right in the middle of the forehead. Missing his brain by two foot no doubt. I checked out some of the lyrics on this gangster crap and I’ve not read a bigger pile of infantile, sub GCSE rubbish in my life. Do us all a favour, quit music stay a gangster and get killed. It’s the only decent thing you will ever do.

Last Last Word

I forgot to say, If I used I tunes and I tunes only to fill my 20 gig IPod. It would cost me at 72p per track, £2880 aprox. Good work if you can get it.

Last word

I have just read on the BBC web site that the powers that be will turn a blind eye to people coping the CD’s for there own personal use. Good job really as that is what we were going to do anyway. I have spent about 2 days reading a forum on this subject and the general consensus seams to be that the record companies are a bunch of fat, greedy, drug addled, out of touch, poncing, crooks. This also includes posts from small record companies who also suffer from there greed. They rip us off and they rip off the artist as well. The price of CD’s and DVD’s continues to rise despite falling production costs. If they are loosing money it’s because of the puerile crap they pass off as music. IT SUCKS! I got to say they got balls. I mean, attacking and insulting there own customers like that. What with them being almost obsolete. There is not a lot of need for them now that the internet is so popular. The last band I was in, we did two days in a studio and we came out £400 lighter with a CD. Print out some stickers and covers in work and boom. Take away the prise of the CD and the rest is yours. I have to mention one post. It was from some guy that recons downloading music is as bad as to going into a shop and stealing a CD. This is of course rubbish, its more like going in to a shop with a tape deck and a coffee, buying a tape, picking out a CD, recording it on to your tape (wile drinking your coffee) putting the CD back and going home. The ONLY thing these companies are trying to do is maximise profits for them selves. There is nothing else involved. If you think there is you’re a sucker.

The Real Pirates

Once again we find copyright laws in the news or more to point, Digital Rights Management (DRM) For all you people not in the know this is a virus that is put on yank CD's to stop them coping them and most of the time stop them using them, full stop. The music industry is getting a bit too greedy, like we are heading towards renting music from them. Let me just clear things up a little. If we are not allowed to copy our CD's, records and tapes to our MP3 players, we are not going to buy them. And just cos little Johnny downloads 200 LP's does not mean he would have bought that many if he was not downloading them. So stop calling it a loss. A CD costs about 30p to make, the rest goes to cocaine addled greedy fat people. So, what we gunna get now? Some bloke coming up to you and saying "excuse me sir. Music Police. Are these your MP3's? Can I see your license and registration? If you would just like to blow into this saxophone sir" Nanny State, more like a stupid petty minded money grabbing state if you ask me. I really can't believe that sony think that all the CD-R and DVD-R they sell are for a legal purpose. If all illegal activity involving CD-R and DVD-R stopped the optical media market would crash. I think Mr sony will find you can only take so much money. I believe Mr Vodafone has just found this out the hard way. Swings and roundabouts. What goes up must come down. If company's are losing profit it's because there prices are too high and people are going elsewhere, like me. I, for quite some time now have refused to buy new records or CD's and have been purchasing my stuff from second hand shops. In the last 5 years I have bought about 100 LP's, 2 were new. You can work that out as a loss as they actually exist.

Time

How the hell do you people think you can get away with this s**t. We ain't all stupid. It only takes one. All of us have fists. most of us will use them. All of us if pushed. Read your history books. You know who you are. Your days are numbered. Use them. I would, then again I ain't as stupid as you.

Hard Drives Again

I left my USB HDD plugged into my PC on the off chance that It may decided to work for a bit. Joy of joys it started to work on the weekend long enough for me to get most of my stuff off it. Next time it boots up I may be able to get my editing off as well. If I can get the 80 gig to do the same I'll be as happy as a pig in the brown stuff. Wile sorting the PC out I realized that the save games for the two games I play the most are on the broke HDD as well. Would be the Sims. Its so much of a pain installing the Sims I don't think I'm going to bother. Maybe I will once I have built my new PC. I think If the Sims people put all the Sims stuff and upgrades onto a DVD as one install, I think a hole load of people would buy it again. There is so much stuff I ain't done, I just cant keep the thing going long enough to do it. I'll stick to Civ 2, at least the thing stays working and the save game fits on a floppy.

Perverts

So now we got perverts filming women nude sunbathing in there own garden and complaining. First of all, WIERDO! If you are filming nude sunbathers ANYWHERE you are a weirdo pervert. Second, since when have nude women been a bad thing? Did I miss a meeting? Can I still vote? If you find his kind of behavior disturbing, put an anonymous note through the door asking them to stop as some mentally deranged people find it disturbing. That way normal people can rip it up and ignore you. Most people find being filmed in there garden from behind a curtain just as disturbing. The fact that this came to court in he first place is proof that our justice system is run by idiots. Idiots that use the system to generate revenue for the government it seams. Idiots that let murders, rapists, paedophiles and all manor of scum loose on our streets. In my opinion they are the ones that should be in prison. What for? Spending my tax money taking some woman who gets her bits out in her garden to court. Dimwits!

Stop Making Up Crap

I read on the BBC web site a survey by an anti - piracy lobby group shows the percentage of illegal software in the UK has stayed at 27% for the last two years. I would like to know how they arrived at this figure. As far as I can see the only way they can know is by snooping around my PC without my consent and looking through my window or breaking into my house to check all the stuff on my PC's that are not on line. In my opinion this makes them perverts and criminals. They also claimed that this has cost the UK's technology sector almost £1bn. This of course is a made up number based on made up stats. They just made it up so this makes them liars as well. My company also makes up crap like this as well. This year we got crap pay rises and no yearly bonus as they lost money. This translates as, we predicted (would like) profits to be about (insert prediction here) but we never made that much so the difference between the two figures is a loss even throw it never existed. They actually made plenty of money, its just we ain't getting it. This together with the insane new management system that has piled more work on us for no extra money will prolly result in all the good staff leaving and getting proper jobs. This will leave all the dregs to provide a crap service loosing contracts thus loosing the company money that actually does exist. I'm really getting sick of people basing facts on lies and made up crap. How about waiting to see how much money you do get and then spending it like normal people. As far as the moaning software crooks are concerned, if I was using a pirate copy of abobe photoshop CS2 and was told to delete it and pay for its replacement I would not pay £600. I would use one that is free like Gimp. For every program that is for sale there will be something that will do the job just as well and it will be free. Even operating systems. I found a site on the web that had links to 41 free operating system sites. Firefox do an internet browser and an e mail thingy. I am just about to check out a free office suite called Openoffice which looks cool. It doesn't have an outlook clone but I use Mozilla and don't need it. So put all that together and you get a big SIT DOWN, SHUT UP AND STOP BUGGING PEOPLE WITH YOUR MADE UP CRAP! WE DON'T BELEAVE YOU! How about providing us with a product that is finished and works. Maybe then people won't mind paying for it.

Hard Drives

I've been neglecting my blog of late. This is due to one of my hard drives giving up. I lost nothing that important but what I did lose was the time I spent collecting the stuff. Like 3gig of photoshop tutorials. Just to top it off the hard drive on my USB caddy gave up as well. Once again it's all stuff I can do again but, I GOT TO DO IT ALL AGAIN ! Eight weeks I spent renaming, editing, downloading and writhing stuff on that hard drive. So, the last week had been spent sorting the mess out and I aint done yet. Somebody needs to take his own advise and do regular backups.

Nikon V's Canon

I have decided to buy a digital SLR on HP, to improve my credit rating you understand. I just don’t know what to do. I’m stuck, Canon 350D or Nikon 50D. There’s just so much to think about. The Canon is 8 mega pixels and the Nikon is 6 mega pixels but there ain’t much difference in picture quality. Well that’s what the bloke on the telly reckons. The Nikon is about £100 cheaper. But I have found a shop that will do me a Richer sounds type deal so I could get £50 to £100 off the Canon. I have not forgotten about the cards either. It’s going to be about £80 for a gig. I could get it cheaper but it would be slower and with 8 mb RAW shots I’m going to need the speed. So sod it, its on HP I’ll go for the fast one. Both cameras are everything I want. It’s a real bitch. I had to laugh in the shop today. I was at the counter playing with the two cameras and a bloke stepped up to the counter on my right. He asked about the same two cameras. So the two of us stood there with a camera each asking a multitude of questions. As we were doing this another bloke stepped up and started asking questions about the cameras. This was great as there were only two cameras and only one bloke that seamed to know about the cameras. It’s a pity they don’t do trial periods as both have good and bad points and I just can’t make up my mind. Any help would be appreciated.

Old Blog

I have transferred the blog from my old web page. It seemed such a waist doing all that work and just leaving it there sitting on my hard drive doing nothing. So I copied it all over, comments, Anna Friel and all. The link is in the Link list at the side (Welsh Blokes old rant). So if you want to revisit the dizzy heights of the beginning of this year, off you go.

BT Monkey

At long last I am back on line at home. I would just like to take this opportunity to thank a few people. First I would like to thank NTL and there web site for lying about where they can provide Broadband. I moved to one of the areas that they falsely claimed to cover which resulted in me being off line for nearly two months. Two good things that arose from this are that when I told them to stuff there broadband they could not put me through to the slimy git who tries to stop you leaving. Second is that I got a much better deal from Homechoice. I would also like to thank BT for charging me more or less £100 to have a line put in, something that NTL admittedly did for free. Also for making me wait two weeks and then not turning up. Not only did they not turn up but when I phoned up they lied and told me an engineer had knocked the door and got no answer. And then lies on top of lies, they told me they phoned my mobile and put a card through the door. This of course was all RUBBISH. For more info check out the British Telecommunications entry from the 19th April. After being made to wait another two weeks a bloke turned up and put a box on the wall and fed the wire to the outside and told me I had to wait 2 or 3 more days as somebody else would have to connect it to the outside. They had a month to do that. Why didn't they do it then? Cos there crap. So as soon as I've served my time with BT I will be dumping them like yesterdays breakfast. I think I should have an award system like my mate from Rant and Rave.

IPod Battery

I have now bought a new battery for my Ipod. I got a high capacity job from Maplins which cost £19.99. I was a little worried about fitting it as they talk about cracking open the case and not taking any responsibility for broken Ipods. I had full instructions and two little green plastic screw drivers which broke as soon as I started using them. One of them lasted long enough for me to see how the two bits are stuck together and for me to get my little screw driver in and just pop it open. Lift the hard drive up, one out, one in, stick it back together and you’re done. The metal bit is a tiny, tiny bit bent. This will however allow me to get the screw driver in just that little bit easer next year when the battery turns to crap.

Alien

A confidential Ministry of Defence report on Unidentified Flying Objects has concluded that there is no proof of alien life forms. To me all this means is the Ministry of Defence are too stupid to find proof of alien life forms. Try Living in London buddy and I don’t mean being ferried round in a flash Jag from house to work I mean LIVE there. After a week of bovine London you will be convinced alien life forms do exist. I sit on trains with them, I work with them and they barge me out of the way on the way home. There is only one way to describe them, ALIEN! I often wonder how these people would get on in Newport. They would in fact get on as they do in any other part of the country. Badly. Sometimes seemingly respectable and innocent people get stabbed or murdered and people wonder why. I however don’t, as I know what a bunch of ignorant, arrogant, gits these besuited Nazis are. Respect is earned not commanded, FACT! Same goes for the baggy trouser brigade. Pull your trousers up you pervert and show some respect, and then maybe somebody may show you some. Of course it won’t be me because to me you will always be scum.

I'm Back

I'm kind of back on line now no thanks to BT and NTL. It's only 56k and 1p a min but better than nothing. I can't believe I used to put up with a connection that slow but I did and I am now. Still It will make me apreacheate the 2meg broadband I will be getting on the 11 th of this month. I almost forgot the 35 channels of junk I get as well for the same price as NTL.

The Charlatans

I just love it when the government proves itself to be the bunch of useless self-serving charlatans they really are. I just ain’t going to talk about two faces Prescott cos that fat gimp makes me want to puke. And Charles Clark should be made to clear up the mess he made and then be sacked like the idiot he is. And who is the bint who messed up the N.H.S? Anybody?

The London Snickers.

I woke up Saturday morning at a friends house to be greeted by a warm and sunny day. I went about my usual routine starting off with a cup of real coffee. This was an odd blend as when he moved he put Italian and Kenyon in the same jar to save room. I like my coffee like my woman. Hot, sweet and lots of cream, outside of that who cares. After indulging in the three S's I set off for breakfast. The cafe is a short walk away so not too much stress. As I was walking down the road I noticed police road cones along the road and men in yellow coats ripping up weeds and generally cleaning up. Not the kind of activity you except to see 11:00am Saturday morning. In fact it's not the kind of activity I expect to see anytime. I thought I paid tax to send fat lying politicians on holiday not clean the streets. I figured there was something going on that was nothing to do with me so I ignored it and went about my day.
Sunday morning I woke up to the sound of drums that were nowhere near distant enough. I indulged in the first S and decided to find out who these b******s were. I did not have to go far to find out. I opened the front door to find several people clapping, a full scale marathon passing the house and a drum band at the end of the road. I made a cup of coffee and stood in the road to watch the whole thing pass. People by me seamed to be picking names off the runners shirts and shouting "come on Dave your doing well" Dave being the first name that come in to my head to represent whatever name they chose. It would be a bit stupid if they just shouted come on Dave all the time. Mind you the Dave appreciation society may have turned up to support everybody called Dave. You never know. A group of people across the road from me were doing the same but shouting "Come one Dave only twenty miles to go" gave me a laugh anyway. Most people were dressed normally or as normal as you can get for a runner anyway. As you will expect some people were dressed up in costumes. One brave man was dressed as Chewbacca. Five people were linked together by a snake costume and there was also Mister Men, two sponge bob square pants, Elvis, Rhino's and many other freaks dressed in many other ways. One guy had a cast on his leg and was hobbling along on crutches. Another guy with a mirror on the front of his hat was running backwards. I also noticed rather a lot of Batman and robin's. Weather this had anything to do with only fools and horses I don't know. At one point a little bloke with a bucket of money ran passed me with a look on his face that didn't take much to read and mate I totally agree. Running 26 miles with a bucket full of money is a damn stupid thing to do. And to the guy who crossed the finish line and blew a massive wad of snot out of his nose on to the floor. Use a tissue or at least snort it and gob it out. Putting your finger on one nostril and blowing snot out of the other is not acceptable anywhere except your house and the house of the scum that taught you to do it. I was told a guy was running in a suit of armour and it would take about a week. The suit of armour guy came past the house Monday about midday. I've decided I'm going to do the marathon next year, I'm going to do it in the back of a taxi.

British Telecommunications

I’ve been off line at home now for over a month. This all started with NTL’s web page telling porky pies about where they can install broadband. I moved using the info from there site as a guide so I could move my account and not spend too much time without a connection. Once I moved, I phoned them and they told me they were unable to install Broadband in my area. In one way this was good as I didn’t have to be put through to the irritating git that try’s to stop you leaving NTL. This left me needing a BT line as they have the monopoly on the phone lines in my area. No BT line, no Broadband. It is going to cost me about £100 to have a line put in. It would be cheaper for me to move to an area where they have NTL. It has taken long enough to find this place so moving is not an option. You should see some of the dumps scum lords are passing off as accommodation. One place still had glass on the floor from the last break in. I digress. So NTL are down the road. It was at this point that I was told about a web site called Sam knows this is a broadband resource site and can tell you loads of neat stuff about broadband availability. This is where I found out about Home choice. Same price as NTL but I get 35 channels of TV. This will prolly work out at 10 watchable channels and 25 of crap. When I spoke to Home choice I spoke to a human who was normal and was not reading from a script. Top marks to Home choice so far. They set up an appointment for me with BT on the 7th of April. I sat in the kitchen with a coffee and eating marmite and cheese on toast and messing with my laptop. They did not turn up. They claim that they called at the door and phoned my mobile which is bull. The only time I left the kitchen was to take a dump and the bog is closer to the door than the kitchen. So unless the door was knocked as mud hit water, the guy never turned up. They claimed when I phoned that they knocked my door at ten, phoned my mobile and put a card through my door. This is all rubbish. Not turning up is a pain but you expect crap like that from the likes of them. When they start making stuff up it really boils my spuds. BT YOU SUCK !

Malcolm McLaren

A short time ago I was sitting at home cross indexing my used tissue collection and due to what I saw on TV I dropped volume 11. It still pains me to say but I saw Malcolm McLaren in a Mayo advert. I felt dirty and used. Malcolm McLaren has always been a t**t but.........I'm sorry I cant talk about it now. It's still too painful.

I Hate Cars

One thing that is really starting to get on my trunk is cars that stop on crossings. Can I just point out that you ain’t getting home any quicker by parking your stinking hunk of junk in my face. All you will get is my foot through your window and shouted at. KEEP OFF THE WALKING BITS! If you are unable to remember this you are to stupid to own a car. Also If I’m in a bad mood I will take your number and report you to the police. When it’s cold and raining its bad enough having to deal with the mindless dimwits walking around me with out some bloated t**t in a 4X4 getting in my way. Wile I’m on the subject of rain, just a few things to say to all you people who use umbrellas. If one more of you freaks attack me with them spikes I will shove it up your arse. Take it from me having an umbrella opened up your arse is not half as painful as having a spike shoved in your eye but I still don’t recommend it. So if you’re stopped in your open top car on a crossing with an open umbrella,
1, You are WELL odd.
2, You better hope I ain’t crossing the road.
You have been told.

What Man?

Since Crimbo I have been a bit skint and also a bit bored. So to combat the two, me and a friend have decided to get a bit of extra work. We talked about it long and hard and came to the conclusion that being a superhero was the way to go. I’m going to be the one doing all the high tech computer and science stuff and my friend is going to leap buildings in a single bound and be faster than a speeding train n stuff. Now, we have started small but you gotta start somewhere init? We have decided to have our secret hideout at my place so you are all welcome to the secret hideout warming party. My mate has bought some red Y fronts to ware outside his jeans and I got a Pin stripe suit and a bow tie. Transport we ain’t got yet so we’re just going to use our travel cards for now. The only thing my mate was not to sure about was the orange tan superhero’s seam to have so I let him off that. So all we need now is a superhero name for my mate. Any ideas?

Out Of Order

Everybody knows how serious I am and how even more serious I am in work. Wile I was being serious in work the other day, I found this sign and felt it did not quite explain the seriousness of the situation. Of course I changed it as you can see above.
After a wile I decided I was a little angry at being cheated out of a tap. So I stormed back to the bog and changed the sign to reflect what I felt. As above.

Nosey

I keep seeing these things round London. Anybody got any ideas what they are?

Olympics

I was watching TV last night and Red Ken was banging on about some new tube extension to Woolwich where the shooting events for the 2012 Olympics are to be held. Londoners need cheap and affordable travel he said. CHEAP! AFFORDABLE! YOU JUST PUT MY TUBE FARE UP BY £1 WHATS CHEAP AND AFFORDABLE ABOUT THAT! HOW ABOUT STUFF THE OLYMPICS AND STOP TRASH BURGLING MY HOUSE AND FORCING YOUNG GIRLS INTO PROSTITUTION! Of course am not implying that trashy people broke into my house and turned it into a brothel. Though thinking about it, it would only improve the place. All I'm Saying is get your priorities right. We got people going to Hungary for the dentist and we're letting pedophiles and thieves rome free. All THEY can bang on about is the sodding Olympics. Can I just say for the records, I HATE the damn Olympics. I can think of nothing more dull. I went to Barcelona and saw where the Olympics were held. It was empty and looked dead. The only thing that was missing was the tumble weed rolling past the gate. Mind you if it gets east London cleaned up it can only be a good thing. Last time I was there it was a filthy dump. G, Get your cloth out T, T, Tony.

Dull Weekend

Welsh bloke apologizes for the gap in this blog. Normal service will resume when something interesting happens or I find the sodding lead for my phone.

Zoo

I found this on the floor on Cheapside. There is no zoo in the area apart from the one walking over it. Never got round to taking one without the wet footprints. Such is life.

The Only Way Is Up

Well since Christmas everything has been a kick in the balls. I had tooth ache over crimbo which stopped me eating chocolate (not!) Not long after I got a tooth abscess. They had me on two kinds of antipathetics and no booze for ten Days. Then not long after that I crushed my thumb in work and now I have half my thumbnail hanging off. The nut that lives upstairs from me has been getting worse by the day. I have now come to the point where I am moving out. I have moved out. I am saving money and its closer to work. All I gotta do is move the rest of my stuff and then I’m going to kick his F*****G head in.

White Van Man

I saw this on the back of a van on the way to town in Newport. I never set this up. Any of my friends will tell you my writing is not that good.
:-)

Company Balls

Don't you just love the crap companys come up with. Not quite worked out number seven yet. I quite enjoyed adding the letter E to the second win on number 4
:-)

No Stickers

Found this on the wall of a bog in a pub in London. Not the best photo in the world but the ice in my lemonade made me shiver.
:-)

Trains

OK, Stuff your train. If you aint putting doors on, I aint using it.
:-)

Harry Potter And The Crack Whore

I found the sign but not the steam train to get me out of the crack whore infested dump that is Kings cross. Why Kings cross? Everytime I've been there (never by choice) It's full of Prostitutes, smack heads, crack heads and tramps. It’s not really fair to talk about them like that. The station staff do after all try there best.
:-)

Freaky Tree

If you look at this tree stump long enough, its got a face.

Misty Day

I took loads of really bad shots this day but it was worth it for the good shots. I may show you them sometime. You can put up with this crap for now. Not sure where this is. My friend Anna may know. Anna?

How Small Do We Need Stuff ?

My mate sent me this photo. How bloody small do we need things. Nobody can afford a house so we are filling our lives with ever shrinking crap with ever increasing prices. Apple rent you an Ipod battery for a year hopping you will throw it away and buy another Ipod. If you want to know how to change an I pod battery just let me know. Buy a battery on line for £25 and it will come with some little tools and a CD telling you how to change it. If they could get away with it, company's would install a device that exploded the second the guarantee runs out rendering the item useless. We need to get a grip on these planks, coz in years to come we are going to be paying top dollar for a tiny bit of plastic crap we can hardly see that is going to explode in a week.

Banksy?

I found this on the way home from work in London bridge. Looks like a Banksy to me. Anybody?

Fun Things To Do In London

If you like me get the hump with people opening the pockets of your rucksack to nick things as you walk down the street. Why not try what I do. If you have pockets that open down the side, take about two handfuls (depending on the size of your pocket) of plastic or metal ball bearings ( metal bounce better) and stick them in the pocket and zip it up. All you have to do then is wait. The only down side is that you don't get to see the look on there face when the ball bearings pour out and bounce all over the place.

New Start (welcome)

It was starting to get a real pain in the arse updating the comments on my web site all the time and that was from just one person. (you know who you are) So I have taken my own advice and I am going to continue my blog here. For a start I get more room here and also the comments are updated all automatic like. Also we may get comments from people we don't know. So to all the people who don't know me, hello, thanks and don't forget to wipe your feet. I hope you enjoy reading the insane ramblings of a Welsh Bloke.