Penzance

As always my annual pilgrimage to Penzance was top notch. I got the 10:05 train from Paddington. Got on the train nice and early to find once again that despite asking for an aisle seat facing (6’2” gotta stretch the legs out), I got a back facing window seat. I was closely followed by a family comprising entirely of women, five birds and a little girl. Then a yank sat opposite me. They all had seats booked but the five birds (or anorexic melted welly faced bints) decided that they would use my spare seat and keep their booked seat empty. So the seat remained empty despite the yank asking if he could use the seat if he moved when they needed it. For the first hour and a half he seamed to think he could stretch his feet under MY seat. After a bit of footsy and a few kicks in the sack he got the idea. It was at this point I realised I had forgotten the spare batteries for my laptop. It was too sunny to see the PSP (another reason for the aisle seat) so all I had to do was read my book and irritate the turkey baster bird by getting up every 15 minutes which just goes to show that it don’t pay to annoy a psycho Welsh bloke. Mazey day was cool as ever and the music went on till gone one in the morning. The rest of the week was spent chillin and ting apart from the odd walk. We took a little trip to the Lizard Peninsula for chips and an ice cream. A trip to Lands End was also on the cards. After a walk around the shops and a quick stop for fish and chips we were off for a walk along the cliffs. Along the way we stumbled upon a little farm where my mate was savaged by a little black and white cat. As we approached the farm shop we found a little yellow sign on the door which stated the we should not touch the black and white cat as she is very unfriendly. Better late than never? I think my mate may disagree with you there. I also remember with great joy my trip to Lidl. We left the shop to find a rain storm in full swing that would have sent a Brazilian umbrella manufacturer running for cover. I came to the conclusion that the young lady I was with should decide weather we should wait or risk walking once the rain had eased off a bit. This way I would not be to blame. We set off once it eased a bit which of course lasted long enough for us to get too far away to turn back. I don’t mind getting wet but I hate it when I get drips hanging off my eyebrows. I also hate it when some impotent nonce in a car covers you head to foot in water cos they are too stupid and ignorant to drive around a puddle. I had just finished cursing the gimp in the car when I felt a strange sensation in my back which was closely followed by the bottle of wine in my rucksack smashing on the floor. This also involved a bottle of lemonade rolling off down the road spraying froth as it went. We collected the groceries that were not damaged and sloshed the rest of the way home. Friday was sunny so we went to Mousehole which is a great place. One comment stuck in my mind and that was “I can’t wait to move away from here so we can come back on holiday” I think that says it all. Saturday was going home day and once again despite having an empty train to choose from I still ended up in the deliverance carriage so I plugged in the headphones and listened to England get knocked out of the world cup. I am now counting down the days till my next holiday.